Here’s one I made earlier:
Biometric security devices? Pah! Bring on the jelly babies. CD anti-copy technology? Pah! Bring on the sticky-backed plastic.

Phat chat:
Over in the East Midlands (why does everything ‘digital-art’ seem to be happening over in Nottingham these days?) they’re having a month-long chinwag about ‘The WHY and HOW of Digital Art’. The open-access online discussion runs until 7th June 2002 at www.heroic.uk.com (evil registration form fill-in required). “The discussion will be wide-ranging, exploring why artists choose to work with digital technologies, and how arts organisations support their work”. Or how they don’t support it, as is more usual. Most of the times they won’t even look at it. I’ve heard all of these; “we can’t accept CD’s or web urls – send 35mm slides”, “wrong type of CD”, “we have no projection/technical facilities”, “it’s a sales exhibition, and we can’t sell digital works”, “we haven’t been trained to do this stuff”, “the IT Dept. won’t let us near the computers” [to put art into a library as a screensaver], etc. But there are even problems with supposedly ‘digital’ commissions; for instance I recently applied to photograph the Leeds Carnival, for a commission aimed at…. “creating images for a web based archive”. My application was rejected today because (I quote)…. “your work is too web based”. Durrhh; how can 15 digital photos on a CD be too web-based, if the work is intended for “a web-based archive”? Oh well. Also this week, an e-mail from the Broadway in Nottingham about showing some of my generative & interactive Flash artworks (see 5th May for a non-interactive example) which I’ve sent them. They like the works, but the curator asks me… “is there any way that you could put all the different designs onto a film so we could run them one after the other.” Durrhh. Nope, sorry; now write on the blackboard 100 times… new-media art is not video.