The logical conclusion of a certain strand of Cultural Studies, and its desire to annexe every other discipline, invade Poland, etc.:- Jam Studies. No, that’s not ‘jam’ as in music jamming, but ‘jam’ as in the fruity gloop we spread on toast…

“M/C – Media and Culture is calling for contributors to the ‘jam’ issue of M/C Journal. What is Jam? How can we understand this cultural and culinary condiment? How does it exist on its own right? Can it exist without attachment, without some form of boundary giving this amorphous blob some understood form and shape?”

I think I’ll whip up a suitable proposal for a paper. How does this title strike you? “Toast-scrapings from a Mouldy Jampot: Jam and Autoerotic Plenitude in the Lyrics of The Smiths.”