How would a variety of geniuses fit into a modern British university? Answer: they probably wouldn’t even get past the application form, let alone the job interview

Name of applicant: Austen, Jane

“At times a charming candidate, but too coy to fit into our department of women’s studies. Her research on the paradigms of marriage and status among the landed gentry proved disappointing in person.”

Name of applicant: Orwell, George

The candidate, while learned for an Englishman (obviously we prefer French cachet in literary and cultural studies), made evident his disdain for our common professional language. On the contrary, he expressed his adherence to the concept of “lucid” prose throughout the interview, and dismissed the idea of scholarly discourse in a haughty public-school way.